Depression is a Hell of a Drug

by Todd Barriage

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So miserable it hurts
It's too much
My face is numb to the touch
I shake and I wince, weep, sleep and repeat
I'm so sick

Stay awake, stay alive
Take one day at a time

I can feel myself flickering in and out, like its pulling me through to the other side and I really don't want to go. God, when was the last time I felt like me? When was the last time I felt anything at all?

Do you recognize me?
I'm not who I once was
See, something changed me,
Something broke

Can you even see me?
I'm not how I once was
I'm not who I once was

You take the wind from my wings
You make it harder just to breathe
You take the meaning from everything
You make me clench my teeth
I wake up drenched in sweat
I'm entertaining thoughts of death
Like "I won't be here"

You take the me out of me
You take the me out of me
You take the me out of me


released May 1, 2015



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Todd Barriage Quinte West, Ontario

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